along came chris walking on the . . . glub. . . glub

ever tried walking on water? i did one time. i was fishing with my uncle in one of the many backwaters of the mississippi river in the delta and hooked a good sized bass. when i got it close to the boat, i leaned over the side to grab him and unbeknownst to me, my uncle also leaned with me to look. and then, as i went headfirst out of the boat and into the water, i happened to catch out of the corner of my eye, the sight of a six foot gator gliding into the water from the bank. not eagerly wanting to stick around and find out where that gator was going, i made for the bank, which was about 15 yards away. i made it to the bank, pole in one hand, fish in other, and was dry from the waist up! this wouldn't seem too amazing except that we were fishing in about 7-8 feet of water! that was my only experience in walking on water, except for this weekend.

i know in my last post, it sounded like i was mr super-Christian, completely trusting in God and not being phased by the circumstances at hand. well, to tell the truth, it has been far from that this weekend. while making my two and a half hour trek to drill in meridian, ms, i found my mind wandering quite a bit. it typically followed this path: lori brings home x-amount of money on her check, we have bills a, b, c, d, e which total y. y is greater than x. panic. worry. knot in my stomach and lump in my throat. then, God would remind me that He's in control. this scenario played itself out numerous times throughout the weekend. it also did not help that i was alone in the evenings most of the time so i would have plenty of time to just think. my water walking quickly turned to water treading.

it reminds me of peter. peter is personally one of my heroes of the faith. perhaps because i relate to him the most. when we read the story of peter walking on the water, we tend to piously think, "come on, peter. how could you lose faith? you were on the water walking!" however, being a sailor, i have learned a few things about the sea. one, you get out to sea, and you can't see land, no matter how high you are. that can be unnerving in and of itself. two, the waves out at sea can get pretty large. our carriers' flight decks sit anywhere from 11-17 stories off of the water, depending on the size of the carrier. there are waves at sea that are higher than the flight deck when you sail into high seas. these weren't little choppy waves that peter was walking on. these were waves like you see in the movie "the perfect storm". monstrous walls of water that would capsize a small boat in no time. so before you start thinking that you would be dancing on the waves like gene kelly in "singing in the rain", ponder peter's predicament. he's not walking on a glass surfaced sea, he's climbing waves. it's no wonder he looked around and panicked. that's what i found myself doing this past weekend. i looked around at the seemingly insurmountable waves cresting over me, threatening to pound me to davy jones's locker, i got scared.

that leads me to my favorite part of the story. peter called out to Jesus to save him, and the Bible says that Jesus reached out and grabbed peter. it didn't say that Jesus "ran over, jumping waves, to get to peter just before he went under for the last time. it said that Jesus was already right there. he knew that peter would sink. i personally do not believe peter even got his neck wet, much less went under. it says he began to sink. Jesus caught him before he even was in imminent danger. and every time i started to go under this weekend, God would speak to me in that still small voice, saying "I gotcha." He would sometimes use a fellow brother or sister in Christ that would call me or text me during a low time to encourage me. what a wonderful God we serve! so thanks to all of you for your prayers, your encouragement, and your calls! God has used you in ways that you never realized! i thought back to friday morning, when my friend taz called and left a voice mail on my phone telling me that he was praying for me, because God had placed me heavy on his heart that day. even before i knew what was awaiting me at 1500 that day, God was already activating His prayer warriors to lift me up! thank you!

finally, to my amazing, beautiful, loving wife. you are my best friend. your support during these last few days has meant more and done more than you could ever know! i used to hear stories at behavioural health from men whose wives had left them because they had lost a job. you have shown amazing strength and have been an inspiration to me! i am truly blessed to have a wife as wonderful as you! thank you!

so to everyone out there who is venturing out over the side of the boat, remember to keep your eyes on Christ. do not rely on your own strength, for it will leave you sinking. speaking of which, does anyone have a life-jacket i can borrow for the next little while?