of pearls, dust, and pigs

those of you that have read my blog know that i hold some pretty distinct, and sometimes strong views on things, especially pertaining to the CHRISTian faith.  the beauty and tragedy of the internet is that it gives anyone the platform to share their views to a much broader audience.  before, if you had an opinion or a view on something, you were restrained to those at work that were willing to suffer you the time to listen, or via phone conversation with a family member or friend.  now, you can let people all over the world know exactly how you feel with just one click.  blogs, facebook, twitter, opinion columns all are filled with people that use them to tell everyone exactly how they feel, whether people want to know it or not.  while this is not necessarily a bad thing, it does open up avenues for debates, and the anonimity of the internet emboldens people to turn into keyboard rambos, vanquishing the twisted and backward views of those out there with whom they happen to disagree with extreme prejudice!  there have been many nights that i myself have burned the proverbial midnight oil because someone somewhere on the internet was wrong, and i felt it was my civic duty to correct them.  however, i began thinking about the futility of that exercise, and how much time i have wasted on pointless and many times counter-productive debates with complete strangers online.  so i began to rethink my approach to the topic, because at 40, i realize that i'm supposedly on the downhill side of life, and how much time do i really want to waste on people who may not care what i have to say?  so if you are like me, here are some things to think about the next time you feel the need to tell everyone how and why they are wrong.

first, before you jump into an internet debate with both feet, consider the audience.  are these people you know and will care what you think?  how many times have we laid the smack down on some stranger on the other side of the country that we never met because they held a view that we didn't agree with, only to have that person dismiss us and ridicule us?  if this is a person that you wouldn't call on the phone or drive to their house and say it to their face, are they really worth your time?  also, are they someone that will actually listen to you and heed your advice?  let's say you are engaging in an argument that is clearly a black and white, clear cut case of right and wrong.  what are the odds of that person, if they know you or not, actually changing their mind and coming over to your way of seeing it?  if they are slim, then what is the point?  Jesus talked about casting your pearls before swine to be trampled on, and many times, that is all we are doing when we choose to debate people online, and trample them they will.  if this is somebody that you know, is it worth potentially damaging a relationship to prove a point?  i have counseled with people who were mad at their best friend, their mother or father, brother or sister, or even a husband or wife because of a debate over something pointless.  before you attempt to debate them, ask yourself how far are you willing to go, and is it worth the price it could cost the relationship.     

this leads me to the next point.  what is the purpose of your debating the faceless person?  is it simply because you think that they are an idiot and you know better than them?  if so, then you have a pride problem.  so many times we have the incessant need to be right that we engage in pointless debates only to lose all civility in the argument.  proverbs tells us to not argue with a fool, because an observer won't know who is the wise man and who is the fool.  there's a lot of wisdom in this.  if we get sucked into a debate online, many times we end up looking just as foolish as the other person because we get emotional and stop thinking clearly and start circular arguing, which leads nowhere.  remember, the point of debate is the exchanging of ideas, and not to completely ignore the other person's arguments because you are loading up your next factual bullet to fire at them.  if a debate cannot be entered into with an open mind to actually listen to the other person's argument, then it is an exercise in futility.

another question to ask is do you have some sort of authority with which to engage in the debate?  you may feel very strongly about climate change, but if you are not a climate scientist that has actually done research on the subject, debating people who have is probably not a wise idea.  an important note here is when i say authority, i mean actual knowledge and not a list of randomly selected facts from a bunch of facebook articles you read.  i've made that mistake before and stepped into a debate based on limited knowledge that i had and got my butt handed to me.  if it was a face to face debate, i would have ended up sounding like tommy boy, mumbling and stammering under my breath that their brain was the one with the candy shell!  so before you jump into a debate, ask yourself if you will actually do more harm to your cause by causing those who are actual authorities on the subject to be grouped in with you.

some people love to argue.  ever met that person that will argue with anyone?  my middle son is like that.  if he's in an argumentative mood, he'll argue that the sun is blue just to have a reason to argue.  are you one of those people?  if so, a good rule of thumb to follow when choosing which debates to get into online is to ask yourself is this a cause that you are passionate about, or as a friend of mine used to say, is this a hill worth dying on?  if not, then what is the point?  you end up making yourself seem like an argumentative jerk that is just looking for a fight.  and if it is a cause that you are passionate about, can you debate without resorting to childish tactics such as insults?  as the debate progresses, ask yourself if it's actually getting anywhere.  i have been in some very lively and passionate debates online, where everyone was being civil, and ideas were being exchanged and respected.  however, i have been in debates where it was obvious that the people on the other end were not listening, and were resorting to insults and ridicule.  i initially joined a facebook page that was supposed to be for the purpose of discussing religion, and ended up being a bunch of atheists ridiculing and ganging up on the CHRISTians there, so i chose to politely back out.

finally, as a follower of CHRIST, you need to ask yourself what kind of witness are you presenting?  are you doing more to harm the cause of CHRIST with the digital projection of yourself than you are help?  are you coming across as smug and arrogant and judgmental?  if so, then you are not maintaining the humility that CHRIST called us to and modeled for us.  and sometimes that means declining to participate in a pointless debate.  sometimes it means participating, but doing so with a spirit of love and kindness.  but most importantly, it means to be willing to admit when you are wrong or you do not know an answer.  nothing does more harm to the cause of CHRIST than an ill-equipped but well meaning zealous person trying to charge hell with a water pistol.  that's why paul told timothy to study to show yourself approved.  before you attempt to engage in a battle, you want to make sure you have the full armor of God and know how to use it.  otherwise you make the cause of CHRIST look idiotic and you become a caricature for others to hold up as the model for a CHRISTian.  and always remember, don't take it personally when a person doesn't hear your arguments.  if you genuinely feel that you are right, and the other person simply refuses to concede to your point of view, then as paul said, shake the dust from off your heels and walk away.  you'll save time, lower your blood pressure, and be happier in the end!